Early Morning and Finding Time
I’m a morning person, I always have been. But I’ve also been a worrier. When I start waking up in the middle of the night or not being able to sleep till the alarm goes off, I know I have a great deal on my mind. I’m a stress magnet, too. In the next three months, my husband and I have big changes in our life. For the good, but still with big change comes big stress. On top of all that, I have a very busy and stressful job and I’m in grad school. Is it normal to wonder everyday if you should quit? …Everything?
I do feel that way, but then I start the reading, or writing or get to class, talk to a colleague or a professor and I feel better. At work, I meet with amazing people who I can help and that keeps me going. It might just be my “glass half full” personality. My husband is a half empty kind of guy and I’m a half full kind of gal. I’ve always said, “Together we make a full glass.” That’s the kind of evening we had last night. Some of the stress we are under is because I’ve taken on more responsibility at work and added grad school to the plate. We talked and I expressed to him that I was concerned that in pursuit of my ego and what I wanted, I had let some of the us things go and I was sorry about that. He said, “We’ve gotten so much more from what you’ve done than it has cost us.” My husband is a man of few words and he’s not a guy who gushes. But that statement made it all worthwhile and is giving me the strength to get through another week. And that’s what I’ve got to do, get through one week at a time.
So, it’s back to work in the quiet of morning and I’ll write a little before work. Then, tonight, I’ll check my homework for tomorrow again for errors. I’ll print it and turn it in tomorrow evening. And I knew about Khan Academy, but I’ve started really using it to help with my short term memory loss related to my age and to formulas and how to multiply matrices. Yes, I am a geek. I’m traveling to DC for work and will miss my Legislative Process class but I will get with Dr. Lynch next week and review the material I missed. Step by step…putting it together.
Oh, and I had a great weekend with my grandkids—and kids.